February 25

A Military Family's Sacrifice

It was March 2003, and war with Iraq was imminent. Also coming up was the birth of our second child. And since my husband, Steve Vogel, was a military reporter, I just hoped the war would wait until after our baby was born. I tried driving down bumpy roads, sipping raspberry tea, but still the baby wouldn’t come. Finally, a delivery date was scheduled, and although Steve had already shipped off to join an Army paratrooper unit in Denver, he was allowed to fly back home for the birth.

Charlotte was born March 18, the day before the war started. Steve was able to hold his baby girl, then the next day he left for Iraq. The first few weeks of baby bliss were strangely accompanied by round-the-clock CNN viewing, reading stories in the paper about battles Steve witnessed from a dangerously close distance, and brief satellite phone calls to discuss of all things sleeping patterns, diapers, and gas.

Luckily, I had plenty of help at home. My family and in-laws came to visit, my mother’s group arranged a steady stream of dinners, and friends constantly dropped by. After about two months, Steve came home unscathed. Even what I had thought was a deep tan washed off in his first shower in weeks.

But what was my two months without a husband and father to my children compared to the lifetime of sacrifices made by military spouses and families? During those few months, I could only think with admiration and respect of those who are accustomed to that sacrifice on a regular basis. Yes, many of them have the support of their base and military groups, but many are forced to move, assume all the duties associating with parenting, give up jobs, and scrimp on daily necessities. And unfortunately, many are not lucky enough to see their loved ones return home, and their burden and sense of loss become even greater.

Yes, it is truly the families of those serving in the military who make some of the greatest sacrifices. I continue to think of their sacrifices as a new offensive begins, this time in Afghanistan as President Obama commits more troops there. I look forward to the day when military families do not need to be separated and people’s husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, do not have to die in war.

Tiffany Ayers